The Relationship Most Leaders Neglect Is the One Above Them
Most executive coaching conversations focus downward. How to lead the team. How to develop people. How to build culture. All legitimate. All important.
But one of the most consistent themes across our coaching work has nothing to do with the people below you. It's the relationship with the people above you — and how badly most leaders manage it.
Managing up and stakeholder navigation appears in 11% of all coaching sessions across our research of 500 sessions and 100+ executives. That number holds exactly even across two very different coaching portfolios — same percentage, same sectors, same seniority levels. Universal.
What it tells us: the political and relational landscape above you is just as challenging as the one below you. And most leaders treat it as a distraction rather than a discipline.
Here's what "managing up" actually means in practice. It's not flattery. It's not playing politics for its own sake. It's the deliberate work of understanding what the people above you need — from you, from your team, from the business — and making sure they have it before they have to ask.
One of our clients spent months frustrated by his inability to drive change in a large infrastructure organisation. The strategies were right. The team was capable. But nothing moved. The insight that shifted things: the problem wasn't below him. It was the relationships above him that were creating the friction.
He put it plainly: "The relationship effort with the COO has paid off — from barrier to advocate. Turning up on the key programmes is key and a game changer to have impact."
From barrier to advocate. That's the difference between a leader whose good ideas die in approval processes and one who actually gets things done.
The leaders who struggle here most tend to share a belief — usually unstated — that results should speak for themselves. That if you do good work, the right people will notice. That spending time on upward relationships is somehow political or beneath them.
It's a reasonable instinct. It's also a trap.
Results do speak. But they speak to the people who are already paying attention. Your board, your CEO, your key investors or shareholders — they are managing a hundred things. Your work is one of them. If you're not actively maintaining that relationship and shaping how your contribution is understood, someone or something else is doing it for you.
That's not cynicism. That's just how organisations work.
The other version of this is stakeholder management outside the hierarchy — the key partners, customers, funders, or community relationships that your business depends on. These don't run themselves. They require the same intentionality as internal relationships: regular contact, genuine understanding of what the other party needs, and the discipline to invest before you need something.
Most leaders are good at stakeholder relationships when things are going well and they need something. The ones who build real influence maintain those relationships when there's nothing immediately on the table.
What the data consistently shows is this: leaders who invest deliberately in upward and outward relationships move faster. Not because they're more capable — but because they've removed the friction. Decisions come through more cleanly. Support shows up when it's needed. The organisation aligns around what they're trying to do rather than working against it.
Managing up isn't optional for senior leaders. It's half the job.
The question is whether you're treating it that way.
At Pivot & Pace, we've spent over a decade working with New Zealand's most ambitious business leaders. This post draws on analysis of 500 coaching sessions across 100+ executives. If navigating your stakeholder landscape is a friction point, let's have a conversation.
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